Life after Marriage

Every one used to say that marriage life is restricted and responsible life. But till today I dint feel any difference in my responsibility compare to my bachelor life.
Restriction.. Yes.. but I feel more or less good restriction...
We had lot of memorable and fun times till today. So far life after marriage is so goood…

One + One =Three….. Yes we are going to become three in a month time. Yes I am very much excited to welcome new member in my family.
They say ‘When baby is born a father is also born’. Waiting for my new birth as a father. Will wait and see how good I am as a father.

ನಿದ್ರೆ ಕೆಡಿಸಿದ ವಿಷಯ

ನನ್ನ ಬದುಕಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಮರೆಯಲಾಗದ ದಿನವಾದು, ಹೌದು ಅಂದು ಸಂಕಸ್ಟಿ, ಆ ವೇಳೆಗಾಗಲೇ ಗಣೇಶನ ದರ್ಶನ ಮಾಡಿ , ದೇವರಿಗೆ ಹರಕೆ ಹೊತ್ತು ರೂಮಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೆ. ಅದೇ ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ಮನೆಯಿಂದ ಫೋನ್ ಬಂತು. ಫೋನಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾರಿ ಬಂದ ಸಂದೇಶವೇನು ಗೊತ್ತಾ ? ನೀನು ಪಾಸ್ ಆಗಿದ್ದೀಯ ಅಂತ.

ಹೌದು ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಪ್ರತಿ ವರ್ಷ ಒಂದು ತರಗತಿ ಪಾಸಾಗಿ ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ತರಗತಿಗೆ ಹೋಗ್ತಾರೆ. ಅದ್ರಲ್ಲಿ ಏನು ವಿಶೇಷ ? ವಿಶೇಷ ಇದೆ. ಅಂದು ನಾನು ಬರಿ ಪಾಸಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ,ಓದಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಮೊದಲ ಸಲ ಫೈಲ್ ಆಗಿ ಪಾಸಾಗಿದ್ದೆ. ಆ ಫೋನ್ ಕರೆ ೨ ತಿಂಗಳು ಅನುಭವಿಸಿದ ಮಾನಸಿಕ ಯಾತನೆಗೆ ಅಂತ್ಯ ಹೇಳಿತ್ತು.

ಹತ್ತನೆ ತರಗತಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಉತ್ತಮ ಅಂಕಗಳಿಸಿ ಪಾಸಾದ ಮೇಲೆ ಸಹಜವಾಗಿಯೇ ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ಮನೆಯವರೆಲ್ಲರ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಯಿತು. ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲೇ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಬುದ್ದಿವಂತನೆಂಬ ಹಣೆಪಟ್ಟಿ ನನ್ನದಾಯ್ತು. PUC ಯಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಜ್ಞಾನ ವಿಷಯವನ್ನ ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಮೊದಲ ಸಲ ಆಂಗ್ಲ ಮಾದ್ಯಾಮವಾದ್ದರಿಂದ ಮೊದಲ ಕೆಲವು ದಿನಗಳು ಕಷ್ಟವಾಯ್ತು. ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೊಂದಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಮೊದಲ ವರ್ಷ ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಸರಿಯಾಗೇ ಇತ್ತು. ನಿಧಾನವಾಗಿ ೨ ನೇ ವರ್ಷ ಓದಿನಲ್ಲಿನ ಆಸಕ್ತಿ ಕಡಿಮೆಯಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಇದಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾರಣಗಳು ಹಲವು. ಕಾರಣಗಳೇನೇ ಇರಲಿ, ಇಲ್ಲಿಯವರೆಗೆ ಅನುತ್ತೀರ್ಣನಾಗದೆ ಇದ್ದ ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆ ಸಹಜವಾಗಿಯೇ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ಇತ್ತು.

ಆ ದಿನ ಬಂದೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿತು, ೨ನೇ ವರ್ಷದ ಪಾಲಿತಾಂಶ ಪ್ರಕಟವಾಯ್ತು. ಎಲ್ಲರ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆಯನ್ನ ನಾನು ಹುಶಿ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ. ನನ್ನ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಮೊದಲನೆ ಬಾರಿ ಓದಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಫೈಲ್ ಆಗಿದ್ದೆ. ಅಂದು ಇಂದಿನಂತಲ್ಲ. ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಫೈಲ್ ಆದರೆ ಮುಗಿಯಿತು, ಮುಂದಿನ ತರಗತಿಗಳಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಬೇಕಾದರೆ ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷ ಕಾಯಬೇಕು. ಮತ್ತೊಮ್ಮೆ ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆ ಬರೆಯಬೇಕು ಎಂದರೆ ಅಕ್ಟೋಬರ್ ವರೆಗೆ ಕಾಯಲೇ ಬೇಕು. ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷ ವೇಸ್ಟ್ ಆಗೊದನ್ನ ತಪ್ಪಿಸೋದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾದ್ಯ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ.

ತುಂಬಾನೇ ಬೆಜಾರಾಯ್ತು. ನಾನು ಫೈಲ್ ಆಗಿದ್ದ ವಿಷಯವನ್ನ ಮನೆಯವರಿಗೆ ಹೇಗೆ ಹೇಳೋದು?? ನಿಜ ಹೇಳೋದಕ್ಕೆ ನನ್ನಿಂದ ಸಾದ್ಯವಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಇರಬೇಕು ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಪಾಸ್ ಆಗಿದ್ದೇನೆಂದು ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳಿ ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೆ. ನಿಜ ಹೇಳಿ ತಪ್ಪೊಪ್ಪಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದರೆ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನ ಅರ್ಧ ಭಾರವನ್ನ ಕೆಳಗಿಳಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ. ಆದರೆ ನಿಜ ಹೇಳಲು ದರ್ಯ ಸಾಕಾಗಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳಾಗಿದೆ, ಆದರೆ ಇಂದಲ್ಲ ನಾಳೆ ನಿಜ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗುತ್ತದೆ ಎಂಬ ಹೆದರಿಕೆಯಿಂದ ಮನಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲೇ ತುಂಭ ಹಿಂಸೆ ಅನುಭವಿಸಿದ್ದೆ.

ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷ ಹಾಳಾಗದಂತೆ ಉತ್ತೀರ್ಣನಾಗಲು ಏನಾದರೂ ಮಾರ್ಗ ಇದೆಯೇ ಎಂದು ವಿಚಾರಿಸಿದೆ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ರೀಕೌಂಟಿಂಗ್ & ರಿವ್ಯಾಲ್ಯೂಯೇಶನ್ ೨ ಆಯ್ಕೆಗಳಿದ್ದವು. ರೀ ಕೌಂಟಿಂಗ್ಗೆ ೫೦ ಹಾಗೂ ರೀ ವ್ಯಾಲ್ಯುವೇಶನ್ ಗೆ ೫೦೦ ರೂಪಾಯಿಗಳನ್ನ ಕಟ್ಟಬೇಕಿತ್ತು. ರೀ ಕೌಂಟಿಂಗಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾಸ್ ಆಗೋ ಸಂಭವ ಕಡಿಮೆಯಿರುವದರಿಂದ ರೀ ವ್ಯಾಲ್ಯುವೇಶನ್ಗೇ ಹಾಕಬೇಕೆಂದು ನಿರ್ಣಯಿಸಿದೆ. ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾಸ್ ಆಗಿದ್ದೇನೆಂದು ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದರಿಂದ ೫೦೦ ರೂಪಾಯಿಗಳನ್ನ ಹೇಗೆ ಕೇಳುವದು? ಯಾಕೆಂದು ಕೇಳಿದರೆ ಏನು ಹೇಳುವದು ಅಂತ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗದೇ ಪೇಚಾಡಿದ್ದೆ. ಯಾರಿಗೂ ತಿಳಿಯದಂತೆ ಮನೆಯಿಂದ ೫೦೦ ರೂಪಾಯಿ ಹಣವನ್ನ ಕದ್ದು ರೀ ವ್ಯಾಲ್ಯುವೇಶನ್ಗೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿದ್ದೆ.

ಮುಂದೇನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿಯ ಎಂದು ಕೇಳಿದವರಿಗೆಲ್ಲಾ, ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರಿಂಗ್ ನನಗೆ ಇಸ್ಟವಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದು, ಕಂಪ್ಯೂಟರ್ ಕೋರ್ಸ್ ಮಾಡುತ್ತೇನೆ ಎಂದು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೆ. ಅದರಂತೆ ಧಾರವಾಡಕ್ಕೆ ತೆರಳಿ ಕಂಪ್ಯೂಟರ್ ಕೋರ್ಸ್ ಸೇರಿಕೊಂಡೆ. ಆದರೆ ಅದೇನೇ ಮಾಡಿದರು ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳಿ ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದೆನಲ್ಲಾ, ಸದಾ ನನ್ನ ಒಳಿತನ್ನೇ ಬಯಸಿದ ಮನೆಯವರಿಗೆ ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳಿದೆನಲ್ಲಾ ಎಂಭ ಪಾಪ ಪ್ರಜ್ಞೆ ಸದಾ ನನ್ನ ಕಾಡುತ್ತಿತ್ತು. ಇದೇ ಯೋಚನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೆಸ್ಟೊ ನಿದ್ದೆಯಿಲ್ಲದ ರಾತ್ರಿಗಳನ್ನ ಕಳೆದಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಹೇಳುವದು ನಿದ್ದೆ ಕೆಡಿಸುವಂತ ಕೆಲಸವನ್ನ ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಮಾಡಬಾರದೆಂದು.

ಈಸ್ಟೆಲ್ಲಾ ಆದರೂ ರೀ ವ್ಯಾಲ್ಯುವೇಶನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾಸಾಗುತ್ತೇನೆಂಬ ಒಂದು ನಂಭಿಕೆ ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಬಲವಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಅದೇ ದರ್ಯ ನನ್ನನ್ನ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಸಮಾದಾನವಾಗಿಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು. ಅದೇ ಅಶೆಯಲ್ಲಿ CET ಕೂಡ ಬರೆದಿದ್ದೆ.

ದೇವರು ನನ್ನ ಕೈ ಬಿಡಲಿಲ್ಲ. ನಾನು ರೀ ವ್ಯಾಲ್ಯುವೇಶನ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾಸಾಗಿದ್ದೆ. ೫ ಅಂಕ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು. ನಾನು ಧಾರವಾಡದಲ್ಲಿದ್ದುದರಿಂದ ಕಾಲೇಜ್ ನಿಂದ ಮನೆಗೆ ಕರೆ ಮಾಡಿ ವಿಷಯ ತಿಳಿಸಿದ್ದರು. ಆಗಲೇ ಮನೆಯವರಿಗೆ ನಿಜವಾದ ವಿಷಯ ತಿಳಿದಿದ್ದು. ನೇರವಾಗಿ ಮೊದಲು ಕಾಲೇಜ್ಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ನನ್ನ ಮಾರ್ಕ್ಸ್ ರೆಕಾರ್ಡ್ ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಂಡೆ. ಪಾಸಾಗಿದ್ದರಿಂದ ರೀ ವ್ಯಾಲ್ಯುವೇಶನ್ಗೆ ಕಟ್ಟಿದ ೫೦೦ ರೂಪಾಯಿ ತಿರುಗಿ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು. ಜೊತೆಯಲ್ಲೇ CET ಪಾಲಿತಾಂಶ ಕೂಡ ಬಂದಿತ್ತು. ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಉತ್ತಮ ಅಂಕ ಗಳಿಸಿದ್ದೆನಾದರೂ ನನಗೆ ಈಸ್ಟೆಲ್ಲಾ ತೊಂದರೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟ ಜೀವಶಾಸ್ತ್ರ ವಿಷಯವನ್ನ ಪ್ರಧಾನವಾಗಿ ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಂಡು BSc. ಓದಿದೆ.

Is it gud To Shift Jobs Frequently?

This was one of the forwarded mail but its worth reading, Perception differs from person to person
Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the ˜job hopper™ (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it. well he does not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the ˜company loyal™ employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys “ the difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:
Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the second time.
Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003 when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a year without job and with compromises.
Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.
Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to justify the saying ˜employer loyalty™. But I was an idiot.
Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not save enough and also, I had thought that I had a ˜permanent™ job, so I need not worry about ˜what will I do if I lose my job™. I could never imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my performance. That was January 2002.
Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.
A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being ˜company loyal™ and not ˜money earning and saving loyal™. But then you can save enough only when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving “ I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my stability.
Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are hiring. You tell me “ can I get a job now because of the slowdown? No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford the expected salaries.
Q: What have you gained by doing such things?
A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.
Q: So you decided on your own hike?
A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a ˜debt-free™ life before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without waiting for the year to complete.
Q: So are you debt-free now?
A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq.. feet) plus a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.
Q: Who is complaining?
A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me “ why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.
Q: What is your advice to professionals?
A: Like Narayan Murthy had said “ love your job and not your company because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.
Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?
A: When a company does well, its CEO will address the entire company saying, ˜well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am with you. But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so well, the same CEO will say, It is MY company and to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go. So think about your financial stability first;when you get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY UGADI

My Chennai Assignment...

Dear Snehiths, this time I would like to write something about my recent visit to Chennai. Yes, I was in Chennai from 28^th Jan to 11^thFeb.

When they (of course Office) asked me to go Chennai for a month, for a change I happily said OK. This was the first time I was going to Chennai to stay more than a day. Last time I visited Chennai during my trip to Dubai. It was just a night stay out there. This time I went there to work in some1’s absence.

On 28^th noon I started @ 2pm from Bangalore by Brandavana express train with full one month luggage. One gentleman was sitting next to me, in some point, we started chatting. That person was from Chennai, and he gave me clear picture of the city. I told my guest house address, it was far from station, so he told me to go by bus instead of auto or taxi but after seeing my luggage, he was convinced that I can’t travel in bus with my bags. But he explained me the major problem for me was to deal with auto or taxi drivers. He was supposed to get an auto for me but in between I found prepaid stand there and reached my guest house around 10pm.

The guest house was very good. Very neat and well maintained. They provided all facilities like tv, internet, ac etc.. They also provided food @ guest house. Food was comparatively good but a bit expensive. They were charging 75 bucks for lunch or dinner.

Next morning I got up early and got ready for office. Had breakfast @ guest hose and started for office. I was supposed to take KT from the guy for next one week and will work on that in his absence. That day I could only take KT on some login credential because of his busy schedule. Unfortunately very next day he got the call from his native and went on leave. He is the only person handling the project from Chennai and other one is supervisor, he is sitting in Bangalore.

It was Saturday, I came to office, next 15days were most memorable days of my life.. Without knowing the system I started working on the project.

For initial 3-4 days, for everything I was dependent on these two, seeking help by phone. To depend on others for everything and seek permission to do something may put u down.

It was really challenging to handle all this for initial days though it was simple and small project. The strange part was by the time I came to know the work the guy return and my job in that project got over.

It was some gr8 moments I spend with SVB(other related team) in Chennai.. their work culture is really good. They work as unit. Enjoy their work. Weekly team outing for lunch etc..

During my stay in Chennai, climate was normal(pleasant). And enjoyed my stay. I found food is bit expensive compared to Bangalore.(not sure about other than T Nagar and Nungabhakam)

The most important one is without knowing Tamil its difficult to manage. Luckily one of my guest house mate knew the language, helps to manage.

The traffic in Chennai is comparatively less, people in Chennai are more economy oriented, and prefer public transport may be the reason. Major roads looks bit wider too.

Over all it was short and memorable for me.

Life Partner.

Hi Snehiths, Here what I am about to share with you is one of best things in my life that happened in the year 2009.

Frankly, year 2009 wasn’t a pleasant one to me. I had to go through a lot of tough times. But there is something that happened in my life and itt gives me lot of happiness to share this with all my snehiths.

Guess what?? Yes its about my marriage.. They say that “Marriages are made in Haven” Yes, I now 100% believe in this line.

Like all traditional Brahmin family in India, it usually start with Jaataka(kundli).

Once kundli matches then only rest of the processes start. Like everyone I too had dreams about my life partner. I had full freedom to select my partner.

But I didn’t have any specific requirements. My only requirement was that girl should be well cultured and educated (any bachelor degree would do)

Lots of kundalies came for the marriage. Some of them matched my requirement but some kundalies didn’t work and some other got rejected due to other reasons not known to me. That time only I realized that how difficult it is to find the life partner.

Many times I was thinking that why I didn’t love any girl? If I would have been in love with someone of our cast, I could have escaped from this lengthy and time consuming process of finding the perfect bride.

One fine day my sister and brother-in-law told me about one proposal. Hearing that, for a moment I couldn’t react. The reason, I also knew that girl. She is not only known girl. She happens to be my relative. Quite close relative, my bhabhi’s sister. I asked them to give me some time to think over it. They said, take your time, think twice; since it is in relation, Once am OK and our kundalies match, then rest would be just formalities. Now I was really confused, even though she was my relative from last 6 years I had hardly any kind of interaction with this girl. But I knew that she matches my requirement.

My confusion was about society’s reaction. Definitely everyone would think its love marriage. So what why should I care? But at the same time I was thinking that am I putting my family down in society?

There was no problem for me to give the go ahead. I said to my family that am ok for this alliance if everything is ok for them as well. They were very happy to process this. Then kundalies got exchanged. It was perfectly matching. I asked my sister to talk with girl in detail. She too was very happy. Marriage date also fixed without any formality like seeing or talking. Marriage happened within a month. With this my so called year long search of perfect bride came to an end. Got Happily married on 31^st May-2009.

After my marriage for some time people asked whether it was love marriage or the arranged one? Only a few of them believe that it was actually an arranged one. We did not try to justify. But one question I always ask my wife that “why didn’t you love me in this 6 years (after her sisters marriage, before our Marriage)?” J